I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
