I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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