Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
