Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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