just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
