Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
