Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
