You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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