Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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