Do vagina's smell?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I party with great urgency now.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
