She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
