I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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