Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
