so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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