Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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