I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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