I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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