I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
