Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
