This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I love having hate sex.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
