So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
