I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
