Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
