is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
