who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to stick my p in your. b.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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