I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
