thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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