I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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