What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
