Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
