love makes seman taste better
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
