so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
