um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The power of my boobs compel you
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
