I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
