You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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