Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
