Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
