I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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