I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
