That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i came on her dog
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
