I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
