I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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