is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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