It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
