Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
