was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
