well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
