I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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