I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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