PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
