is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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